One of the most important assets in a divorce and/or separation is support from friends or relatives who can often be useful as helpers. A local support group is also helpful.
If a child keeps things bottled up inside, professional counseling is often recommended. The support from friends and relatives is often not enough because it is not always easy for a child to open up to them due to feelings of embarrassment, confusion, and resentment.
A parent cannot be the sole source of emotional support. During the divorce and/or separation children tend to have very mixed feelings and are not as open with their parents as they typically were. A parent should try to discover what a child is thinking. Children who are experiencing a family breakup rarely get all the answers and often only get half the story, so they have a tendency to jump to the wrong conclusions.
If a child says, "Everything is fine," an alert parent has a clue that he or she is keeping feelings bottled up. Rarely is any child content with a separation or divorce. They always have questions and want definitive answers. A child who is not looking for answers now will eventually, and the more time that passes, the more harm done.
Strategies and Tactics To Help a Child Open Up:
- Create occasions where your child spends one-on-one time with a friend or relative.
- Ask questions about how he or she is feeling. Do not do this out of the blue, but rather during conversation related to the breakup.
- Consider meeting with a family counselor on your own.
- Ask your child for ideas about improvements or courses of action. These questions will typically invoke a response that will reveal your child's feelings or emotions.
- If you have more than one child, try to have a family meeting about the divorce or separation.
Try to find out how everyone is doing and see if things are all right. One child's discussion may spark that of another.
- It is not recommended that you ask your child's friends if he or she has said anything to them about the divorce and/or separation. This does seem like the easiest solution, but you are risking your child's trust, which is absolutely invaluable during this difficult time.
- Contact the school guidance counselor for options for support.
- Contact a local church for options for support.
- Your local YM/WCA may have a support group for children.
Table of Contents
& 
Bookmark us for future reference.
