Parents often spend more money on presents for a child during a divorce and/or separation. The natural instinct is to do whatever possible to make a child happy. Parents typically worry about the emotional state of their child during the divorce and/or separation, so when they see him or her happy, it makes them feel better. This being said, a temporary sense of happiness due to a present is not a cure for either parent or child.
Buying excessive presents for a child is more an act of selfishness on the parent's part. This is a way for a parent to get a sense of relief. The child seems happy, but a child's happiness cannot be bought.
Presents and surprises should be kept at the level they were prior to the breakup. Instead of presents, time with a child is a better gift. The more time spent with a child, the faster parental guilt will go away. The guilt will probably never completely disappear, but efforts to be a good parent will eventually bring a measure of peace of mind.
Sometimes one parent is trying to keep up with the other parent's giving of presents. This game goes nowhere, and both parents should put a stop to it. A breakup is not a time to be competing for the love of a child, but instead a time to be working together to be good single parents. No child wants to be pulled in opposite directions, nor does he or she want to love one parent more than the other.
Strategies and Tactics About Gifts:
- Try to have your child earn the present as a reward.
- Substitute the thought of getting your child a present with spending time with an activity.
- Before buying something for your child ask the following question: Does my child need this or want this?
- Keep the number of presents the same as prior to the breakup.
- Make sure there is a reason for any present or gift.
Table of Contents
& 
Bookmark us for future reference.
