If a child does homework, it is a clear sign that he or she is probably skipping or rushing assignments. He or she may be experiencing a bit of "scatter brain," which means the mind is racing and cannot focus on one thing at a time. The breakup is probably causing feelings of helplessness and emptiness. This makes homework or school participation extremely difficult. Problems in school are a sign that a child is not taking the family breakup well. A child may seem fine when he or she is at home but may be hiding his or her feelings. The emotional trauma of divorce and/or separation can easily trigger poor grades in school, which can lead to depression.
Strategies and Tactics To Monitor School and Related Activities:
- Be sure to tell your child's teachers that you are going through a divorce and/or separation. Many parents try to keep this a secret and they should not. Your child's teachers will be able to keep an eye out for your child and report to you any changes in behavior and/or progress that has been made. Teachers tend to be a very helpful resource for parents going through a divorce and/or separation.
- Ask your child daily questions about school and follow up to make sure he or she is doing the required homework. If you are unsure of whether or not your child has homework, contact the teacher for a list of assignments for the next few weeks.
- Try to help your child with homework assignments. Your child may recognize this as an opportunity to spend quality time with you. By helping your child with homework, you will be making him or her feel more focused.
- Rewards for doing homework is also an option, but there is a down side to this tactic. If there is no reward, will they still do the homework? If you feel it is appropriate, consider trying something like the following: If your child does his or her homework for the entire week, you will go to the amusement park on Saturday. This type of arrangement is much better than saying: If you do not do your homework, there will be no trip to the amusement park this Saturday. Phrase the reward or incentive positively with added enthusiasm. If your child knows that you are also looking forward to the reward, he or she will be less likely to let you down.
- Try to have a set time for homework. This reinforces the routine that your child needs to feel secure. Most children want to know what is going to happen next; they are not typically in favor of living a day of unpredictability.
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