Both parents need to continue do everything possible to encourage a child and relatives to maintain the relationship they had prior to the breakup.
A breakup does not mean a child has to divorce the entire family. The relatives on both sides of the family are very valuable. The grandparents are especially valuable. They can play a very significant role by providing the security and the extra support that the parents typically do not during this emotional experience.
As the divorce and/or separation progresses, it can be very difficult for the non-custodial parent's side of the family to maintain the same relationship with the child. It seems that it is inevitable that the relationship begins to deteriorate, but if the non-custodial parents' relatives and the custodial parent work hard at it, a growing and nurturing relationship can remain in tact. This can be achieved by scheduled visitation and regular phone calls.
Grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins may be great role models and companions now and in the future.
During divorce and/or separation it is not uncommon for the custodial parent to move back to his or her hometown with the child. In this case, a parent needs to work best to maintain those family relationships. If the distance is too great for visits, the telephone, e-mail and letters must substitute. The goal is to make sure a child adjusts to the transition as smoothly as possible. Children who are transplanted during a divorce and/or separation have additional issues to deal with, and often they feel a sense of guilt about not keeping in touch with those people they left behind.
Increasingly, grandparents have petitioned the courts in the hopes of obtaining a regular visitation schedule with grandchildren. Quite naturally, as a result, the individual states have had to address the issues of non-parental custody and the visitation rights of grandparents. As is the case with other divorce-related issues, the laws regarding grandparent custody and visitation differ from state to state. A variety of viewpoints exist with respect to these issues. Whereas the authorities generally believe that grandparents and their grandchildren have rights in terms of a continuing relationship, difficulties arise because it is also believed that these rights should not adversely affect what is known as "parental autonomy," i.e., the rights of parents to raise their children as they see fit.
There are two basic rights with respect to grandparents and their grandchildren: custody and visitation. Custody includes the legal rights and obligations consistent with full-time parenting and rearing of a child. This decision requires a major commitment on behalf of the grandparents, and if the parents are not willing to voluntarily surrender custody, the approval of the court is needed.
Visitation, by comparison, happens when the court sets a specific schedule of time that grandchildren are to spend with their grandparents. Again, the actual applicable laws vary from state to state, so it is very important to understand exactly which of these laws do and do not apply in a particular situation. It is wise to seek the help of a lawyer.
While the rights of parents are guaranteed under the Constitution, this does not mean parents are not completely free in the raising of their children. A state can, as "parents patrie," make decisions with regards to parental control of children in cases where intervention is warranted. Simply put, if the court feels there is enough evidence to substantiate that the parents are not acting in the best interests of the child, then the court will step in and act.
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