A child should have as much involvement with the non-custodial parent as deemed to be in his or her best interests. In a majority of cases throughout the United States, the courts prefer to establish generous, but reasonable, visitation rights in an attempt to secure the child's ongoing relationship with the non-custodial parent. The word reasonable is included to emphasize that the visitation schedule must allow for a child's normal routines.
The custodial parent must encourage the visitation. It can become quite a challenge at times, especially with adolescents who would rather spend extra time with friends, but it is important for the custodial parent to encourage the participation of the non-custodial parent. The more enthused the non-custodial parent is, the more likely a child will want to have parenting time with him or her. The custodial parent needs to recognize just how distanced the non-custodial parent can feel and how depressing it can be when a child does not want to participate in parenting time.
Sometimes it is difficult for the non-custodial parent to make the plans, and it can be very discouraging if the plans are not of any interest and a disappointment to the child. Needless to say, the non-custodial parent should be made aware of progress and achievements in school, including any extracurricular activities, new friends and interests.
The custodial parent should occasionally encourage the child to bring friends along on visitation time (with permission from the other parent, of course)
and make sure the child does not forget special days.
The custodial parent should let the non-custodial parent know how much his or her participation as a parent is appreciated.
Visitation should be consistent. If the visitation schedule is very sporadic, the child may feel as though he or she is not as important and that the non-custodial parent has bigger and better things to do.
Parents should never use visitation as a weapon.
The non-custodial parent should focus on quality experiences during visitation time, rather than how much time is spent together. For example, If the child is involved in fun and exciting activities during a short visit, it can have much more meaning than watching a lot of movies and TV over a longer visit. Friends on some visits can be helpful in creating interest in visitation time.
The non-custodial parent should consider regular and consistent phone calls to the child. The custodial parent needs to enforce participation in the phone calls and know what time the calls are going to be made.
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